i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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