yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
