Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
