i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
