are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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