I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
