Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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