my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize