Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
