i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize