Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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