About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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