They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
sarcasm needs its own font
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
