Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
