very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
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Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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