You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
someone owes me an orgasm
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
