If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
