I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I understand Curling. That high.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
