We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
