apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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