i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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