Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
