the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
