my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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