His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
