I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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