I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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