so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My vagina just recognized that song.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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