So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
