Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
