He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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