I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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