Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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