hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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