i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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