Whod you bang
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You left your phone here
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