his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We don't watch enough power rangers
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
