No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
