im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
