My first STD was from a foam party
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
