I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
