I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
are you so shy because you have an std?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
