CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Text me some of your sweat
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
