i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
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He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
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I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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