they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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