Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
