just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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