My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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