South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
