Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
In America we eat man semen.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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