k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize