So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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