we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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