i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
