I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
where does the pee come out of this thing
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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