you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
