Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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