Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
false alarm, still single
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
