yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
