So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
