So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
