so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
