my room smells like sperm. sweet.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
