i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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