so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
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I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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