got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Everyone says I win the strip club
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
why is half of my head shaved?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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